Christmas Reality

To be sure I have no problem with people who have faith in their own belief systems and for especially for practicing Christians, it takes a LOT of faith if the Christmas story occurred as was depicted in the Gospels of Matthew (Chapter 2) and Luke (Chapter 2).

The premise being that a carpenter and his fiancé needed to travel to their ancestral home - Beyt Leḥem (Bethlehem) from Natz'rat  (Nathereth) to partake in a census ordered by Caesar. Along the way, the young woman was impregnated without losing her virginity, and had a dream instructing her how to name the boy. When they got home, she gave birth in an animal shed because there was no room anywhere else. A star hung over the place where she gave birth, providing directions for the shepherds and Magi to show up shortly thereafter.  The local Roman Governor (Herod) heard that a prince had been born, and ordered all baby boys under two to be slaughtered, so the young Mom fled to Egypt only to return later and raise her son.

Sound about right?

I know, I missed the part about the Angels signing and the Little Drummer Boy, but the essence of the story is there.

It takes LOTS of faith to take that story at face value, and if you have that faith that this is the way things happened as first recorded some 50 years after the boy’s death, then good for you!  Enjoy your fantasy and read no further.

However, there are some historical truths that have come to light over the last century or so that may give you pause to question the reality of the story. These truths come from historians who recorded events much closer to the time of the event, with both Jewish and Roman records agreeing with each other and decrying the stories written two to three generations after his death.

Where to start?

The Census

The Romans kept impeccable records, even if they were often skewed in their favour, but there is no record of a census being conducted outside of Rome itself decades before or after the time of the birth. Even if a census did occur at the time of Yeshua ben Yusef’s (AKA:  Jesus) birth, the people would not have been required to return to their ancestral home. That would be a totally impractical arrangement. If it happened this way, all work throughout the Roman Empire would stop. Some people would have had to travel for months to return to their ancestral home. The transportation infrastructure could not possibly have handled the flood of travelers.
Further, Yusef ben Ya'akov (AKA: Joseph) would not have taken Miriam, daughter of Joachim (AKA: Mary) with him, even if he had to go to Bethlehem to register. Only men were enumerated or taxed, so there was no necessity for her to accompany Joseph. Mary's pregnancy was in its ninth month at the time. She would not have been in a condition to travel.

No Room at the Inn

So why did they even need an inn to begin with? They were going to Joseph’s home, and in the Bible, there is no innkeeper - and probably no inn. That's because inns were only found on major roads, and Bethlehem was the equivalent of a truck stop outside of a rural town in Saskatchewan.

Much of our picture of the story is based on the mis-translation of a single word: the Greek "kataluma" which was translated as "inn," when a far more accurate translation would have been "the guest bedroom." We actually have a pretty good sense of just what a kataluma is, because the only other time the word is used in the New Testament is to describe the room where the Last Supper takes place, which Mark describes as "a large upper room furnished and prepared."

So that's a great description of where they didn't get to stay, but we all know where they did end up, based on the supposition that Jesus was laid in a manger -- i.e., a feeding trough for animals.
However, just because there was a manger doesn't mean they were in a stable.
In the first century BCE and CE the first floor of homes were akin to large kitchens, where animals would be brought inside at night for heat and protection. Consequently, the lower floor of the house would have had a manger -- the Bible isn't saying that innkeepers are jerks and Jesus was born in a barn. It's saying that they stayed with the in-laws and had to crash on the downstairs couch with the pets -- a time-honored Christmas tradition most of us practice to this day.

Timelines
The Bible doesn't provide a precise timeline for all these events, but the gospels make it pretty clear that Mary didn't give birth the night they arrived in Bethlehem. They say "while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered," which strongly implies that the birth takes place days, if not weeks, after their arrival.

Jesus didn't hit the ground running, either. He was circumcised (eight days after he was born) and presented at the Temple, which could only happen after Mary's period of purification was completed -- because according to the laws of Leviticus, a woman was considered ritually impure for 40 days after giving birth to a boy (80 days for a girl).

There are some hints that it's much longer -- perhaps up to two years -- before the wise men even show up: by the time they get there, the family is living in a house, not a stable, and Jesus is referred to as a "young child," not a baby. This makes sense, since the reason Herod kills all the children up to 2 years old is because the wise men specifically told him that was Jesus' age. Now, admittedly, Herod wasn't exactly known for his restraint, so he might have started by killing the infants and then momentum just took over.

Three Wise Men

The gospels don't mention kings visiting young Jesus, only a group of magi from the east. Magi weren't royalty, but rather priests or wise men versed in astrology and magic.
Now, hopefully these were at least royal court magi, because your run-of-the-mill magi were a pretty sketchy bunch -- they're described throughout the Bible as frauds, snake oil salesmen, and swindlers. It's assumed that these weren't lowly street magi based on the luxury gifts they came packing, though one Old Testament verse suggests that they were just as likely to be traveling salesmen as they were wandering nobility -- an interpretation shunned by church authorities, but that was understandably popular with Renaissance businessmen.

The magi's choice of gifts would have raised some eyebrows, too, given how frequently the Bible mentions both frankincense and myrrh as aphrodisiacs. It wasn't until the Middle Ages that the magi began to be described as kings, largely to make the New Testament story better match the Old Testament messiah prophecies, and probably because "kings" sounded better than "magical spice perverts."

The story of the Magi coming to Palestine to give homage to the King of the Jews appears to have been freely adapted from the story of Mithra's birth. He was mythical Persian savior, also allegedly born of a virgin in a cave on DEC-25, who was worshiped many centuries before Jesus' birth.

Herod

According to Matthew (2:7), Herod inquired as to the exact time that the star appeared. This was to learn exactly when Jesus was born, so that he could have all of the male children close to that age in the Bethlehem area murdered. Since he later ordered all of the children less than 2 years of age slaughtered, Jesus must have been living with his parents in Bethlehem for many months by the time that the Magi arrived - perhaps at least a year. If Jesus had been just born, then Herod would have ordered only newborn infants killed. This conflicts with Luke (2:39), which states that when Mary was ritually purified 40 days after the birth, that the family returned to Natz'rat immediately afterwards. It also conflicts with the archaeological record which conclusively shows that Beyt Leḥem was deserted during the 1st century BCE and 1st century CE.

Depression in Rawanda

"We had a lot of trouble with western mental health workers who came here immediately after the genocide and we had to ask some of them to leave.

They came and their practice did not involve being outside in the sun where you begin to feel better. There was no music or drumming to get your blood flowing again. There was no sense that everyone had taken the day off so that the entire community could come together to try to lift you up and bring you back to joy. There was no acknowledgement of the depression as something invasive and external that could actually be cast out again.

Instead they would take people one at a time into these dingy little rooms and have them sit around for an hour or so and talk about bad things that had happened to them. We had to ask them to leave."

~A Rwandan talking to a western writer

Stupidity should be painful

Submitted with permission to reprint, and for other to reprint and post where ever bigots gather.

"Another Sociologist, and friend of mine who works on the Wet Coast, has opined on occasion that "Stupidity should be painful". As a corollary to that point, I might add that "Stupidity plus hate should be fatal". 

Although wishing somebody a painful death is less than human to most of us, accounting for the hundreds of thousands of useless hours trying to reform a bigot is no more productive than a sexual bigot trying to 'reform' a person who is naturally attracted to a person of the same gender.

From a purely "Modest Proposal" point of view, these poor creatures, would no longer have the influence on susceptible young minds, turning their offspring also into stupid hate mongering machines. In a single generation, moronic haters would be nothing but a memory.

Most of the US Republican Party would be dead with the rest of them in significant pain, along with the followers of the KKK (in whatever form to which it has evolved/devolved), the members of the Westboro Baptist Church, and the founders/followers of the American Family Association and Focus on the Family.

Until we realize that "Stupidity should be painful and Stupidity plus hate should be fatal" is yet just a glorious dream, and the efforts to educate the moronic bigots that inhabit our planet must continue.

Insensitivity

Am I being totally insensitive, or are the people receiving the messages over reacting? 

This is a judgement call at best depending on the gap between the sender and receiver of information.

This exchange with an internal developer earned me a lecture from my boss.

From: B****
Sent: August 13, 2014 14:46
To: D*****
Subject: RE: [Ticket #******] [intranet page]  scroll issue 07AUG14

Hi D*****,

 [Ticket #******] [intranet page]  scroll issue 07AUG14

Please close this ticket.

In that 

- IE is the ONLY browser in which [intranet page] functions, and that;
- IE is a dysfunctional browser at the best of times – therefore;
- IE is the fifth browser of choice behind Chrome, Firefox, Opera, and Safari.
Instead of trying to make [intranet page] function in real browsers, an effort which could be considered a WOMBAT (Waste Of Money, Brains and Time), my solution is to avoid [intranet page] all together until or unless it becomes absolutely imperative to try to make IE work for me.

Ergo: Please close this ticket.

Perhaps “D*****” has a stock portfolio that includes Internet Exploder, or he only develops programs for IE, but he was so upset about these particular comments he took them to his boss who took them to my boss, who landed on me with both feet to provide a reprimand for being “inappropriate and disrespectful” to a colleague.

POLICY that I apparently violated:
Objectionable conduct and behaviour includes, but is not limited to:

-       conduct by words, acts or omissions, which is disrespectful or harmful to an individual and that is likely to have the effect of creating an embarrassing, intimidating, hostile or offensive environment within the organization and /or is likely to prejudice an individual’s performance, self-esteem or dignity. 

At least I did not tell “D*****” to take IE and shove it up his assets - THAT would have been “inappropriate and disrespectful”!

See I do know the difference :-)

Stupid questions deserve stupid answers.

 Q: Do all Canadians live in igloos?

A: For starters it is iglu, or more accurately ᐃᒡᓗ. Yes! We all do. Only the very rich here can afford wood and cement and other fancy southern building materials.

The pros; iglus are very eco-friendly, fire insurance premiums are very low (self-extinguishing house) and air conditioning in the summer time is next to nothing!

The cons: every little piece of dirt shows up and when our dog sled puppies pee in the corner you have to stare at yellow snow all winter long and warn the kids not to eat it.

Iglu prices here range from $150K to $200K for a condo, right up to a cool Mill for a big single family iglu on a large ice floe (with a waterfront in the Spring).

That is why global warming scares us so much: Where will we live when our houses all melt?  

USA in Distress

As I reflect on Independence Day it is obvious to the observer that the USA is certainly in distress (unless you have a six or seven figure income) as the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. The rich can afford to remain healthy by buying healthy food and regular medical checkups, while the poor get and remain unhealthy because they cannot afford healthy food, thereby relying on cheap heavy starches and sugar laden foods, never mind seeing their doctor for regular body maintenance.

When the poet Emma Lazarus penned The New Colossus, part of the sonnet reads:

… Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!...

It was an invitation to those being subjugated in other lands to come to the USA to seek religious and political freedom, not an indication that they should continue their station and remain … tired, … poor, …huddled masses yearning to breathe free...[or]  wretched refuse of …the homeless.

Indeed many did cast off their political, moral and religious chains and started dynasties of their own, replacing being suppressed to being the suppressors of their own employees. This trend continues today in the USA, the latest barrage to hit the … tired, … poor, …huddled masses, is a ruling by the Supreme Court that allows an employer’s religious beliefs to restrict medical insurance payment of medication and medical procedures, thereby overruling medical decisions by licensed physicians. Without medical insurance, physicians can charge astronomical fees for their services, and pharmaceutical companies can charge whatever the market will bear for medication.

It is sad that President Obama and his Democrats did not have the power necessary to have a social medical system such as Canada, England, Australia, New Zealand, or India. At every step, the opposition Republicans raised their Bibles with one hand declaring that certain procedures are against the words of a 1700 year old book, and stock portfolios with the other demanding that the wealthy who could afford insurance had the right to do so, while those working poor who could not afford insurance … oh well, it sucks to be you … get a better job where you can afford insurance.

As I reflect on Independence Day it reminds me of what a great country Canada is by comparison. We don’t wrap ourselves in our flag, but are no less proud of who we are. Universal health care may mean waiting your turn for surgery when there are more urgent cases before you, but until, during and after, there is no cost for medical services. Medical insurance is provided without restrictions based on your employer’s religious beliefs because we have true division between “Church and State” – a concept lost in US corporations.

737 Safety Features

This is why I fly Southwest when I am in the US. Westjet in Canada come close, but they have to do the same speech in both official languages so it makes it a little more difficult.

Transcript from a Southwest Airline FA:  Safety Features on a Boeing 737

If I could pretend to have your attention for just a few moments, my ex husband, my new boyfriend and their divorce attorney are gonna show you the safety features about this 737-800 series. It's been a long day for me.

To properly fasten your seatbelts, slide the flat into the buckle; to release, lift up on the buckle. Position your seatbelt tight and low across your hips like my grandmother wears her support bra.

If you get mad and you wanna take the tour alone, there are eight ways to get there! Two forward exit doors, wing window exits, two rear doors. Signs overhead, disco lights on the floor leading to each exit.

Everybody gets a door prize in the seat back pocket in front of you along with dirty diapers, chewing gum wrappers, banana peels and all other gifts you leave us from time to time. Take it out, check it out. You'll notice in the highly unlikely event that the captain lands us near a hot tub, everyone gets their very own teeny weeny yellow Southwest bikini! One size fits all. Take it out of its holder, place it over your head, wrap that strap around your waist, buckle it and pull to tighten. Once that's on, pull on the tab to make it inflate; to re-inflate, blow on the tube at your shoulder. The flight attendants are coming by hoping you'll tell them how good looking they are. 

We're gonna make sure your seats and tray tables are in the full upright and absolutely most uncomfortable position possible, and that your carry-on items are currently stored completely under the seat in front of you leaving absolutely no room for your knees or feet.

As you know, it's a no smoking, no whining, no complaining flight. 

It's a "Please and thank you" and "You are such a good looking flight attendant" flight. 

Smoking is never allowed on board a Southwest. If you're caught smoking in the lavatories the fine for that is $2000, and if you wanna pay that for your air fare, you should have flown somebody else.

 If we do make you that nervous in the next hour and a half, you're more than welcome to step outside. We don't discriminate at Southwest, we have a special smoking section just for you. We'll even show you a movie tonight! We have: Up In The Air.

The flight attendant serving you tonight is Wendy and her motto is if you can light it, you can smoke it! Federal law prohibits tampering with, disabling or destroying any smoke detector or webcam in either of our lavatories.

Federal aviation regulations require passenger compliance with any passenger information signs and plastic placards. Basically, just do what we say and nobody gets hurt.

And although we never anticipate a loss in cabin pressure (if we did, we certainly wouldn't be at work tonight), but if needed four oxygen masks drop from the compartment overhead. Stop screaming, let go of your neighbor, pull until that plastic tubing is fully extended, place the mask over your nose and mouth and breathe normally. To activate the flow of oxygen, simply insert 75 cents for the first minute, and 15 cents for every minute after that. Although that plastic bag may not inflate, you are receiving lots and lots of "gin". Oxygen that is.

And if you're travelling with small children, we're sorry. If you're travelling with more than one child, pick out the one that you think might have the most earning potential down the road. And if you're travelling with somebody needing very special assistance, like your husband (bless his heart), or your wife, put on your mask first.

That's it for the dos and donts of show and tell. Sit back and relax, or you can sit up and be tense, either way. You're already on our flight and the clock's already ticking.

Seriously, if there is anything we could do to make your flight more enjoyable please tell us... just as soon as we land in Salt Lake City. 

And if there is anything you could do to make our flight more enjoyable, we'll tell you immediately. We're not shy at Southwest. That's what you call very cheap entertainment. No one has to pay any extra but you certainly don't get a refund! 

Thank you for choosing Southwest, welcome aboard!"