1.
Our beer is stronger than American beer:
That’s bogus, a myth born out of
the different methods once used
to measure alcoholic content on labelling. Americans
long listed percentages of alcohol by weight on the bottle, while Canadians
used a measure of alcohol by volume. The difference distorts the picture
somewhat, because alcohol weighs less than water, making Bud and other sudsy
U.S. staples appear weak in comparison to Labatt and Molson, for example.
Actually, most beers around the world hover in and around the five per cent
mark, in terms of alcohol by volume—that includes the much-maligned Bud—meaning
that it will get you as drunk as fast as most Canadian brews.
2.
Beavers will bite off their own testicles when confronted by a predator:
This myth has an old pedigree,
going back to ancient times, with commentators such as Pliny and Claudius
Aelianus describing how the beaver, confronted by hunters, would sacrifice its
testicles, which were prized for their medicinal value, in the same way a man
who is mugged might immediately present to the robber the contents of his
wallet. Both NDP MP Pat Martin and literary icon Margaret Atwood have played a
role in perpetuating this legend.
Actually, male beavers hold their family jewels within their bodies (not like
Papillon carried his money, but you get the idea).
3.
Canadians burned down the White House:
It’s a story a lot of Canadian kids grow up
believing—that in 1814 we sacked D.C. and put our torches to the president’s
house, setting it aflame. Actually it was the
British Major General Robert Ross (An Irishman from County Down, in the southern part of the Emerald Isle) who ordered a number of public buildings to be burned (Canada did not exist for another 53 years).
4.
Canadians own a lot fewer guns than Americans:
The U.S. is a pistol-packing
country, but it’s not also true that Canada carries an entirely empty holster.
According to a 2007 International
Small Arms Survey, there are 30.8
guns in Canada for every 100 citizens (that is still over 10.4 MILLION guns in Canada). Not quite the 88.8 guns for every 100
American citizens (310.8 MILLION guns in the USA), but enough to place Canada 13th on an international ranking
of gun ownership—five times that of England.
5.
Canada’s taxes are higher than America’s:
We are socialists who tax the
stuffing out of business, particularly in comparison to our southern
neighbours, right? Not quite. Last year, for the first time, Canada ranked in
the top 10 in Price Waterhouse Coopers’s
global comparison of the most
advantageous places to pay corporate taxes, placing eighth. Canada’s total
average tax rate on medium-sized domestic companies weighed in at 26.9 per
cent; it’s 46.7 per cent in the U.S., putting the Americans in 69th place.
1 comment:
You have crushed most of my argument for awesomeness. What's next? Alex Bell was really american after all?
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