Talking in Circles

Aboriginal people talk in circles, both figuratively and physically.

Circles are a natural part of our lives; consider the sun and moon both appear as circles, our eyes appear as circles, and even our traditional homes are formed as circles. The Inuit iglu is a circle of snow and ice, the tipis of the Prairie Nations are built round a circle, and closer to home, and the Okanagan kukuli is built in a circle.

Non-Aboriginal people can get frustrate when discussing a mater of importance with a traditional Aboriginal person, as it is considered impolite to just blurt out the nature of a concern or request without providing the entire background of the situation.

I was recently talking to a young Aboriginal woman who wanted to convey to me her desire to educate youth at a public forum. From the time we met, to meeting her purpose, the time elapsed was almost two hours, whereas non-Aboriginal person may have come to the point in under 10 minutes. The significance of this reality becomes a conflict when culturally insensitive counsellors loose patience with clients who take too long to come to a point, talking circles around the question, concern or request.

Corporate Canada has an analogy when they talk about the ‘elephant’ or the ‘moose’ in the middle of the room that everybody ignores, talking around the problem instead of the problem, and generally encourages participants to get to the point so that meetings are not dragged on infinitum. This flies in the face of tradition Aboriginal concepts of problem solving.

When we want to discuss an item of interest or importance with three or more people, we form a circle so we can see each other when speak, giving equal importance to all in the circle. From the time the first person speaks, it is the person to their left that speaks next, and continues around the circle. If there is more to be said once a person’s turn has passed, the person must wait until their turn comes again around the circle. It is not unusual to have three or four ‘rounds’ before everybody has finished talking.

Talking circles are considered to be sacred, confidential, and safe. In Aboriginal communities, anything said in the talking circle is not repeated outside the confines of the circle, and those who have ignored this basic tenant have found themselves ostracised from entire communities or even entire nations.
Knowing that rumour, innuendo and gossip are favourite pastimes of all human cultures it can take a long time or a position of considerable trust for a non-Aboriginal person to be invited to a talking circle, as the concepts of confidentiality are less ingrained in European based communities.

For my non-Aboriginal friends, if you are invited to a talking circle, consider it to be an honour, but if you are excluded, please don’t take it personally. It can take months if not years to earn the privilege to take part in our traditional means of community problem solving.