Knick Knacks

Like knick-knacks on the the shelf, there have been a number of little things on my mind lately that individually are nothing to complain about, but collectively add to the static blocking out items of more relative importance that I want to think about. My objective here is to lay out the knick –knacks so I can start to forget them.

Beiber, Justin: (Canadian Singer Embaressment  Idiot). It boggles the mind that ANY news service, even the bottom-of-the-barrel-lets-make-stuff-up, Faux… err  Fox News would spend more than two seconds on the antics of this mental midget and the headlines he hopes to make. If the reporters would not show up, he would learn that he is not as important as he thinks he is (unless you are a girl between the ages of 8 – 12, who are infinitely more intelligent than Beiber).

“I Lost Everything – I have No Insurance”: What morons. In the last three months news stories have hit the airwaves about families who spend hundreds on Christmas presents but REFUSE to pay the pittance premium for content insurance when they are renting. Wake up, people! It is an added cost of renting, like utilities. Many of these renters have combinations of phones, cable, cell phones, Xboxes, Play Stations, etc. paying the connection and monthly fees, but REFUSE to buy content insurance to protect their toys. These morons need to get their priorities straight.

Darwin Award Winners:  “…Citizen Smith, was killed late last night while walking on the right side of the highway. S/he was wearing black jeans, and a black hoodie with no reflective patches. The driver of the SUV  accidentally hit Citizen Smith who was pronounced dead on arrival …” Far too many variations of this happen in the winter, and my give-a-damn, just gave up.  From the time they can walk, sometime between 9 and 14 months of age, we teach our children to walk facing traffic: on the LEFT side of of the road. Anybody walks on the right, especially after sundown, is simply playing Russian Roulette and may end up strengthening the human gene pool as a result.

Reporters who get “assaulted”. Having seen on the news how reporters hound people they deem to be newsworthy, invading their personal space with microphones, and cameras, it is surprising how few of these vultures have been  pushed out of the way. In a society that is generally considered to be ‘polite to a fault’, why is there no common decency and respect shown by people who report the news? There are no legislators, provincial or federal that have the intestinal fortitude to write and enforce respectful boundaries for the Fourth Estate. Even allowing every citizen one metre radius of personal space between themselves and the media could be enough to keep the peace.

Social Service Drug Addicts. It has long been accepted that drug addiction is a disease primarily of the mind, but has very strong affects on the body, and spirit. So treat them as a victim of a disease by placing them in residential programs, psych wards, and other acceptable means of treatment. Sounds like a plan, right? Well what we do with these sick individuals who are unable to find work due to their disease, is pay them not to look for work. An estimated 250,000 people in BC alone extrapolates to 2,5 MILLION Canadians are on social services, collecting a ‘paycheck’ on the last Wednesday of the month (thanks to the generosity of the taxpayer).  It takes nothing short of a court order to have any one of them tested for illegal drug residue, which would prove to the courts that the person is using his/her public funds to purchase and use non-prescribed drugs. If they have enough money for tobacco, alcohol, marijuana, heroin, cocaine, crystal meth, (and the list goes on), perhaps the government is giving them too much money to begin with. Order a random series of blood an urine tests, and anybody who has illegal drug residual in either system needs to be cut off the money supply for a three months on the first offence; one year on the second offence, and with three strikes - they’re out. PERIOD. NO MORE BUCKS.

“I can’t find a job in Vancouver/Calgary/Edmonton/…”   In the BC North alone there are 1,000 jobs right now, today, just in construction paying union wages for everything from Labourers, to Journeymen, to supervisors. Never mind all the ancillary jobs to support the industry.
BUT the jobs are in places that are cold (a previous boss used to tell people who complained about the cold to work harder), experiencing upwards of six months of snow per year, and 18 hours of daylight in the summer. To those who continue to complain: If you are too lazy to work: STARVE.

I do one part of my job and put on a forced smile, because I have a job to do and every job has something that we dread with every fibre of our being, but it has to be done. For some people it is quarterly reports, others it is budget development, somebody has to drain the swap full of alligators, and clean up after the elephants. Overall I love what I do,where I do it, however once every 18 months I am forced to spend a week in Vancouver. Vancouverites, tend to be under the misconception that anybody who is not within an hour’s drive of ‘Metro’ are desperate and anxious to get to the city at all costs, whenever they can possibly get there, and to provide poor country bumpkins with the opportunity to have their flights and hotel paid is equivalent to Nirvana. Well I have news for you Vancouver, you can keep your city, your smog, ALL of your suburbs, and overbearing crowds. Yes, I have to be there one every 18 months and will undertake my duties as efficiently and effectively as I can possibly muster, but please do not, under any circumstances, even for a nano-second delude yourself into thinking you are doing me a favour.

No More Posties?

Many people will complain about anything, especially when they imagine the “boogie-man” behind every shadow. What is worse is the average person will react emotionally to anything that is unknown therefore an element of fear confuses and takes over the function of reason and logic.

A perfect example arose recently, when Canada Post announced the gradual withdrawal of door-to-door delivery of letter mail in urban centres across Canada. The most vocal reaction was both predictable and could be most accurately described as ‘knee-jerk’ and visceral.

First, the convenience argument:

“… My {fill in the disability} {fill in the relationship} cannot possibly walk a block to get his/her mail every day, because {fill in the pitiful situation} …”

My first thought was, how does {fill in the disability} {fill in the relationship} get groceries, a hair cut, to a doctor, dentist, specialist, etc.?  SOMEHOW {fill in the disability} {fill in the relationship} is able to fulfil most of these activities as well as any other citizen, despite their {fill in the pitiful situation}. If {fill in the disability} {fill in the relationship} gets everything delivered, then perhaps a trusted neighbour, relative, friend could pick up the mail when they pick up their own? Sorry, this argument is a non-starter, designed to reach you at your core emotions, because we all know somebody with {fill in the disability}. I have grown up with people with a variety of disAbilites, and not one of them would accept anybody’s pity, never mind assistance. A babysitter who was born blind (Pauline would not let us get away with ANYTHING), a paraplegic Great Uncle, co-worker in a wheel chair, a blind university professor, and an gifted speaker with Cerebral Palsy.

Second, the financial argument:

An estimated 8,00 letter carriers will be laid off.
8,000 people being paid well beyond the skill set required for the job.
While CUPW is predictably upset about loosing the union dues from these 8,000 people, they only have themselves to blame with their unreasonable pay increase demands over the last 40 years.

Consider the skill set required to deliver mail:

Grade 6 literacy to be able to read an address, and the physical capacity to carry the bag(s) of mail.
This sounds like a job for your average newspaper delivery person who can get paid upwards of $500/MONTH if they take on 3, 4, or 5 delivery routes. We had a neighbour who worked for the post office who bragged that she was home for lunch after working a hard four hour day and was paid for eight. 

Considering that the Federal Minimum wage is based on the provincial/territorial minimum wage they would still be paid between $9.75 and $11.00 hour for each our actually worked, depending on where they work. 

Perhaps if letter carriers were paid their worth, they would not be looking at being laid off and the general public would not be paying $1.00 for a postcard to be delivered in Canada.

Black Friday

After being inundated for the last week of “Black Friday” advertisements, I was convinced that it was the retailer’s greed driving the start of the “BUY-FEST” to start earlier and earlier on the Friday, until they started opening their doors this year on the US Thanksgiving itself, driving the meaning behind the holiday further into the background until it becomes the meal to max out the waistband before maxing out the credit cards. 

A re-think was in order when it dawned on me that the retailers were only responding to the consumer need to take a year’s pay and blow it in 24 hours. It has been well documented over the years that consumers will line up on Thanksgiving to be the first through the doors whenever they open, so it makes sense for the retailers to open the doors rather than have their cash-ready consumer standing outside all night. The concept of “Black Friday” to American consumers is no less a conditional response than Pavlov’s dogs, salivating at the mere thought of achieving their goal of the perfect {fill in the blank} at a discount of {pick a number between 25% and 95%}. I pity the poor Americans who worship consumerism as their golden idol and spend without considering the social and financial consequences of their actions. It will not be long before Thanksgiving will only exist in name, and even the meaning may change to “Give Thanks that the stores never close”. 

So much for family, and the opportunity to slow down for ONE day per year for families to collectively think about how wealthy we are in all of North America when compared to the other 95% of the world’s population.

Movember Links

1. Register as a MoBro. Grow your Mo to change the face of Men’s Health.
Register as a MoSista: Support the men in your life to raise awareness of their health:
https://www.movember.com/ca/register/

2. Join My Team and support me until the end of Movember (previously known as November) to raise awareness for Men’s Health:
http://moteam.co/fnha-2013

3. Can’t Grow A Mo? Already have one? You can always donate funds (tax deductible) for research and awareness for Men’s Health Issues:
http://mobro.co/brianmairs

MO-tivation

It is well known that Men are tough.
We are so tough that we think we cannot get sick – hey - we don’t have time for all that silly sickness stuff (it is a sign of weakness, right?), even when it involves issues that primarily effect men, such as prostate and testicular cancer and mental health challenges.

Well, the fact is women cannot get prostate and testicular cancer. So it is up to MEN and the women and men who love them to step up and fund research for prevention and cures for these cancers. When it comes to mental wellness – more women REPORT issues around depression, but more MEN take their own lives from depression and other mental health challenges.

A moustache is the mark of a man, and today it’s a symbol to spark conversations about important health issues. Only a few generations have been given the opportunity to make a difference in their hour of need, pledge to grow a moustache for change, or support those that do.

For 30 days only I have been granted permission to Grow My Mo, but I need your help to financially support research to address prostate cancer, testicular cancer and male mental health initiatives. I have a donation page (tax deductible for anything over $25) if you are so inclined at http://mobro.co/brianmairs 

If you are already supporting another Movember participant – THANK YOU (please ask them to join the FNHA team at http://moteam.co/fnha-2013).

Men who support Movember, called Mo Bros, start by registering at Movember.com. Mo Bros start Movember 1st clean shaven, then grow and groom their Mo for the rest of the month, raising money along the way. Women who support Movember, called Mo Sistas, also start by registering at Movember.com. Mo Sistas champion the Mo by supporting their Mo Bros.

Please feel free to forward this note to anybody with an email address, whether or not you think they may donate. Awareness can be just as important as cash.
Thanks

Find out more about why you should join me by taking a look at the causes we are fighting for: http://ca.movember.com/programs

RCMP BADGE

A couple of RCMP officers stopped at Sandy Bay Ojibway First Nation and talked to an Elder First Nations man standing on the road. He told him:
"I need to inspect this land for illegally grown drugs."
The elder reluctantly said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he pointed with his lips to the location.
The RCMP officer verbally exploded & said;
"Look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!"
Reaching into his rear back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge & proudly displayed it to the Elder.
"See this f**king badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I want, whenever I want...on any land! I don’t care if it on Reserve, Sacred Land, or your grandmother’s farm. THIS this f**king badge gives me the right to go anywhere! No questions asked, no answers given! Do you understand old man?"
The elder nodded kindly, apologized & went about his business.
Moments later he heard loud - fearful screams; he looked up & saw the RCMP officer running for his life, being chased by a Bull Bison. With every step the Bull Bison was gaining ground on the officer & it was likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The Elder threw down his tools & ran as fast as he could to the fence & yelled at the top of his lungs...
"YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR F**KING BADGE!

National Punctuation Day

Today is National Punctuation Day.  To celebrate this prestigious occasion, here are my top five punctuation pet peeves.

1. Double space: Yes, the space is a punctuation point. Don't wear it out. There only needs to be one space after the end of the sentence. Adding two just means a lot of frustrating corrections on our end. And don't get me started on triple spaces…or ellipses!

2. Its vs. it's: This is an easy mistake to make, and we're all guilty of sending out an incorrect tweet in a moment of excitement or fury. For the record, here's the proper usage:

Its and it's are not the same thing. It's is a contraction for "it is" and its is a possessive pronoun meaning "belonging to it." It's raining out = it is raining out. A simple way to remember this rule is the fact that you don't use an apostrophe for the possessive his or hers, so don't do it with its.

3. Misplaced semicolons: Semicolons can be used three ways. The first is to join two independent clauses when the second clause restates the first or when the two clauses are of equal emphasis. The second is to connect two independent clauses when the second clause begins with a conjunctive adverb or a transition. The final way is to join elements of a series when individual items of the series already include commas. Don't throw these around willy nilly. They have very specific guidelines for use.

4. Gratuitous use of quotation marks: Use quotation marks to designate something as ironic or novel However, using it around every other word is annoying, difficult on your readers' eyes and has the opposite intended effect.

5. Overuse of the exclamation point: The exclamation point has no place in professional writing. F. Scott Fitzgerald famously said, "Cut out all these exclamation points. An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke.” Heed his advice.